What Mistakes You Should Not Do As Parents?

What Mistakes You Should Not Do As Parents?

Parenthood- the best feeling and the biggest honour of life. Parenting is very different and new learning in all, with different subjects for all of us.  

But do we accept this learning? NO! Unfortunately, we all believe that once we bear a child, we are perfect and we are all mature and right. We don’t want to come out of this box of perfection. Unknowingly that it is a very new course will all different subjects till lifetime. 

Let's get real for a moment. I understand! Being a parent is difficult. No matter how careful and alert we are, mistakes are unavoidable. Both parents and children, however, have a lot more to learn in the process. 

Learning from our mistakes and experiences will enable us to give a good upbringing to our children. Although there is no set of guidelines for appropriate parenting tips because every child and family is unique, certain behaviours should be avoided. Over the years, I've seen a lot of good intentions go horribly wrong. Some parenting mistakes have a greater influence on children than others. 

Despite the fact that I became a biological mother at the age of 32, I was grateful to have knowledge of child upbringing. My younger brother was born when I was 13 years old, and I had a hand in his upbringing, strong morals, and beliefs.  

That is why I have created these brief parenting tips for parents to guide about the common mistakes that parents make, while upbringing of their children.  

Just do not worry! It will be fixed with time and attention! 

Parenting Mistakes You Should Avoid  

     1. Minimising Your Child's Emotions 

 

Are you also among those who want to make their child emotionally strong?  

If yes! Then I’m sure you must be training them by using sentences like "don't be so sad about it", “You are my strong child, and strong people never cries’’ or "it's not a big problem".  

Unfortunately, I am disappointed to shatter this parenting myth. Our Children must understand that expressing and sharing their emotion is healthy. When you tell your children such statements, you are delivering the message that emotions are not important and that it is better to control them. [1]  

Consider saying, "I know you're terrified right now," for instance if your child is showing signs of fear during a noisy thunderstorm. Then ask if there is anything they believe might help them feel better. This is one of the good parenting tips for parents and it teaches kids how to regulate and cope with their emotions independently. 

The idea is to assist them in thinking of options until they find something that works for them. 

     2. Not Listening to Your Children 

 

Do you know, most of the time our children simply want their voices to be heard? All they desire is to communicate their emotions and feelings.  

But what do we usually do? We ignore their conversation due to either our busy schedule or any other important stuff.  

We may not know it, but this is one of the most serious mistakes parents make and should be avoided at all costs. 

A child needs experiences and connections that show them that they are valuable human beings who provide joy to others. Positive attention, reactions, and responses from parents or other adults help children form an image of how much they are valued. Paying positive attention to your kids is very essential for child development.  

So, dear parents here is a healthy parenting tip, take some time to hear what your kids have to say. It is an important element in helping children feel valued. If something is troubling them, take it very seriously, no matter how insignificant it appears. 

Whenever they come to you and speak to you, try to listen to them first before you try to cure them. A connection, as we all know, is the foundation for sharing, respect, trust, problem-solving, and responsibility. 

     3. Comparing Your Child to Others 

 

Just because you compare your parenthood with others, means you can compare your children? 

Definitely not! We parents compare our children because we want to show off our parenthood to the society.  

Comparing your kids to others is harmful to children. It begins when a child begins school and their grades are compared to those of his classmates. It is essential to understand that lecturing the child about how others are better than them will not improve the child's grades. 

On the contrary, it will weaken your child's self-esteem, negatively impacting his performance. As a result, it is recommended that you sit with your child and assist the child in understanding why he/she is unable to perform or if there is anything else that is bothering him or her greatly. 

Comparing your child to someone else's is one of the biggest mistakes you can make, and it can leave a permanent mark on your child's personality. 

     4. Overindulging Your Children 

 

Kids enjoy getting gifts, and parents enjoy giving gifts to them. However, when you give your children whatever they want, they miss out on mental strength abilities like self-discipline. 

You want your children to grow up thinking that anything is possible if they work hard enough. Parents can teach their children self-control by making clear rules for things like finishing homework before watching television or doing tasks to increase pocket money so they can buy things by themselves while knowing they have earned it. 

     5. Beating Your Child 

 

 

Disciplining your child is one of the hardest things to achieve after the initial days of parenthood. Parents may attempt to argue with their child at first, but more often than not, this results in beatings and the use of force as they desperately attempt to discipline their child.  

After years of researching the psychology of parenting, as well as my own experience as a mother, I have concluded that beating or spanking your kids doesn’t work.  

Punishment only seems to be effective in the short run. However, in the long run, it may make your child less likely to cooperate because they have learned to mistrust you. In other words, it weakens your bond with your child.  

Kids who are physically punished (e.g., spanking) by their parents are more inclined to relate violent intentions and behave aggressively in social situations. [2] Harsh verbal discipline (e.g., yelling) can also be harmful in the long run, increasing the likelihood of misconduct at school, lying to parents, stealing, and fighting. [3]  

     6. Fighting In Front of Your Children

 

Disagreeing and Fighting happen naturally in relationships. You and your partner might argue over the dishes or dinner. The best action to take is to avoid fighting in front of your kids or even within their hearing if it worsens and you start yelling, calling names, or acting aggressively (throwing, punching, etc.). 

Frequent parental fighting can damage a child's emotional control, brain development, and brain ability. It can also lead to depression, nervousness, and even self-harm. [4]  

Try to have any heated debates or arguments away from the house, even though it's not always possible. If that's not possible, put your inconveniences in writing and preserve them for a time when you can talk about them privately. 

     7. Raising Your Child to Become What You Wanted It To Be 

 

Most parents force their wants on their children, especially when it comes to professional choices or what they do in their spare time, which is a normal practice in most houses.  

Everyone should understand that every child is unique and that his or her ability to achieve in various professions is unique. So the best thing to do is to show your support for their desire.  

Personality development for children is a complete method of training the child and engaging them in activities that they will understand and do their best in order to expand their dreams to new heights.  

     8. Not Letting Them Get Bored 

 

Another common parenting mistake is parents who believe their children require constant stimulation like watching T.V and playing games on phone and must be busy all the time in order to be happy and stay out of trouble. That is not true.  

This only results in overloaded, stressed-out children who miss out on learning the valuable lesson of coming up with innovative ways to relieve or entertain themselves.  

Downtime is beneficial to both children and adults. It allows them to refuel their batteries, think creatively, and be present. 

     9. Not Establishing Parent-Child Boundaries 

 

You want your children to make their own decisions, but your child should also know that you are the incharge. For example, if you give your kid a time limit, make sure they follow it every night or as much as possible.  

Kids who are mentally strong have parents who know the significance of boundaries and consistency. Compromising and allowing rules to be negotiated too often can result in power struggles between you and your child. 

     10. Not Showing Love and Affection Towards Kids 

 

There is no denying that you love your children, but how can you express it to them?  

Do you give them as many hugs and kisses as you can?  

Keep in mind that your child will feel secure and cherished if you embrace them. The same goes for holding their hand, caressing their hair, and giving them a cheek kiss. 

Spending time together is another sign of love. This is a fantastic approach to let children know that you value them. Just remember to engage with them on a regular basis. This means setting down your cell phone and spending quality time with your children.

 

 

Therefore, if your kids like cartoons, take them to a cartoon-themed movie. Similarly to this, if your kids enjoy painting, think about spending an hour painting with them or playing their favourite sport with them.  

Whatever your children's interests are, they can be a wonderful way to interact with them. You can encourage your children to follow your rules and let them know you love them by expressing your concern for their interests. 

Conclusion 

Keep in mind that being a good parent is different from being a perfectionist when it comes to parenting techniques. Don't belittle yourself when you make mistakes; it's crucial to work on your parenting abilities and to be a good parent. No parent is ever perfect. 

Additionally, it won't hurt your kids if you make mistakes once in a while. Simply own your errors, make amends if necessary, and move on. Instead, concentrate on being present for your children on a regular basis, setting limits and rules, and expressing your love for them. 

It is also essential that kids get healthy nutrition for growth, development and function. Smarty Kids is 100% sugar free kids gummies and contains all the vitamins, minerals which are essential for the kids.  

References 

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4158405/

[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768154/

[3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3875601/

[4] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8565274/

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